Chapter 2
809words
Leo looked like he hadn't slept all night, his eyes red and swollen, staring blankly at his screen. Mason seemed more nervous than usual, his fingers randomly typing on the keyboard. Even the usually steady Liam seemed distracted, checking his phone every few minutes.
"What's wrong?" I put down Leo's favorite Americano on his desk. "Did last night's date not go well?"
Leo smiled bitterly. "The date went well. The problem is I never wanted that date in the first place."
This wasn't like Leo. In the two years I'd known him, he'd always been the playboy who swiped left and right on Tinder, enjoying the game of conquest.
"What do you mean?"
"I fell in love with a voice," he rubbed his face, "an ASMR streamer. For six months now, I've listened to her broadcast every night. Last night she announced she's getting married and permanently closing her account."
I was stunned. "So you..."
"So last night I kicked a sexy blonde out of my apartment because I'd rather listen to a virtual avatar talk." Leo laughed self-mockingly. "Am I crazy?"
I remembered my reaction to Alex last night—that "come over" text, that instinctive obedience. Who was I to say who's crazy?
"Maybe you just found something that makes you feel comfortable," I said.
"Comfortable?" Leo looked up at me with a vulnerability I'd never seen before. "Chloe, I've spent six months in a relationship with a voice. Now she's about to disappear, and I don't even know her real name."
I didn't know what to say. In the break room, Mason was nervously staring at his phone screen. I walked over and saw he was browsing an escort service website.
"Mason?"
He almost dropped his phone in shock, his face turning bright red. "I... I was just... looking."
"You don't need to do that," I said softly.
"I'm twenty-nine, Chloe," his voice was barely audible. "I don't even know how to talk to women. Maybe this is the only way."
From the other end of the office came Liam's suppressed arguing voice. He was on the phone with Jessica again, having one of those suffocating conversations—she was questioning why he didn't reply to her message immediately, why his tone sounded "off," why he always seemed to prioritize work over her.
I looked at these three men—Leo escaping to virtual tenderness, Mason preparing to buy a non-awkward encounter with money, Liam trapped in a suffocating relationship unable to move.
And me? I wasn't any better. We were all avoiding something in different ways, filling the emptiness inside with different methods.
"Chloe," Mason suddenly said, "do you think some people just aren't meant for relationships?"
I thought of Alex, thought of how I had almost responded to his call again last night.
"I think some people just haven't learned how to love themselves yet," I heard myself say. "Including me."
The next morning, Mason's seat was empty.
He only appeared at noon, looking like he hadn't slept all night. His eyes were red and swollen, clothes wrinkled, his whole being emanating an aura of defeat.
"How did it go?" Leo leaned in to ask, his voice filled with expectation.
Mason shook his head, saying nothing.
"What does that mean?" Leo frowned. "Did you go?"
"I went." Mason's voice was very soft. "She was beautiful, professional, patient. Then I panicked, paid her to leave."
The office fell into a brief silence.
"Dude—" Leo wanted to say something, but Mason interrupted him.
"Don't say it. I know I'm pathetic." He opened his computer, pretending to start working.
I walked to his desk and gently placed down a cup of coffee.
"You're not pathetic," I said. "You're just not ready yet."
Mason looked up at me with both gratitude and pain in his eyes. "Were you at Alex's last night?"
This question caught me off guard.
"I saw your social media location," he said softly. "2 AM, Williamsburg."
I wanted to defend myself, to say it was work, a misunderstanding, any other explanation. But Mason's gaze made it impossible for me to lie.
"Yes," I admitted.
"What about Ethan? The man who sent you flowers?"
"I pushed him away."
Mason nodded, as if understanding something. "So we're both cowards. I'm afraid of real contact, you're afraid of real feelings."
Those words stabbed into my heart like a knife.
"Maybe," I said, "but at least we're aware of it."
"What good is awareness?" Mason smiled bitterly. "We're still making the same choices."
I was about to answer when my phone vibrated.
Alex: "See you tonight?"
I stared at the message, feeling Mason's gaze upon me. Did he see it? Did he know I was going to meet that man again?
My fingers hovered above the screen.
